How to Trust People and Overcome Trust Issues

If you’re wondering how to trust people, you’re in the right place.

The more successful you are, the more challenging it can be to let people in.

There’s a very real fear that people will take advantage of you when you’re successful. 

You may not know who you can trust and what their agenda is when they interact with you. This fear can cause you to guard yourself and your life.

To make matters worse, you might have yes men surrounding you. 

Trusting others begins within, just like everything else. The best way out is by going within.

If you’re starving for some truth and genuine connection, stay with me.

I’m going to help you identify genuine connections, and people who love you for you. Instead of people who love you for what you can do for them.

This post is all about how to trust people.

What Causes Trust Issues & How To Trust People

Trust issues always begin and end with some type of betrayal. 

Whether this is self-betrayal or someone betrayed you, it causes a deep rift in your psyche.

People underestimate the energy of betrayal and how damaging it can be to one’s self-worth.

When you betray yourself, you’re saying that you’re not worth it, and you’re happy to settle for less. 

Deep down, you know you deserve better. You recognize on some level that you’ve caused yourself deep pain.

If this began with childhood experiences, or childhood trauma, it takes more work to heal.

Betrayal is very much a form of abandonment that creates a lack of trust within yourself.

This affects every area of your life, including the relationship you have with faith.

This is even more true if your life started with negative past experiences. Something like that can be a defining moment.

Recognizing trust issues within yourself begins looking for areas where anger is present.

We tend to project anger outward to avoid feeling pain.

Every time I’ve asked someone to sit with their anger, they realize the same thing, “I’m angry with myself.”

This doesn’t mean that the other person didn’t cause you harm, or pain. 

But, usually we’re trying to forgive someone before we’ve forgiven ourselves. 

Whether it’s with yourself, or with others, anger affects human connection.

Taking full responsibility means forgiving yourself for what you did or didn’t do. 

Then, you can begin understanding your emotions and how they’re influencing your choices.

Sometimes, this will feel like a massive leap of faith.

Intimate relationships are always influenced by the relationship you have with yourself.

Strained or non-existent relationships are reflecting the strained relationship you have with yourself.

Understanding this foundational core belief is the beginning of your healing process.

To heal betrayal, we need to look and reframe your origin story.

10 Signs You’re Attracting Untrustworthy People

Attraction is all about emotion. When you’re attracting untrustworthy people, look at your own emotional triggers.

Try and look at the other person as a reflection of you. What do you have in common?

What are the main reasons you’re in conflict and how do they intersect?

Here are the top 10 signs you’re attracting untrustworthy people:

Your Energy is Drained

In order for a person to drain your energy, your interaction with them leans into the negative. 

They could be a good person and still be draining to you.

Whether they are a good or bad influence, recognize that your interactions with them deplete you.

The first step is to rate how you feel before and after your interactions with people. 

You can also do this with any area where you are giving of your time, energy and attention.

Being selective with your energy investments is one way to regain control over how you feel.

Your Inner Circle Is Leaving You With Questions

Your inner circle is a great place to begin auditing your entire life.

You’ve likely heard, “You become like the top 5 people you spend the most time with.” 

I like to take this one step further and audit the energy of the group.

Your best friend could be someone you love, but they may also be the most negative person in the group. It doesn’t mean you cut them out of your life. 

Instead, you may need to adjust how you interact with them.

The same goes for family members, romantic partners and colleagues. 

The people you spend the most time with need to leave you feeling energized.

If this important circle is off, you’ll feel less energized, and struggle with mood swings. 

You’ll be managing the energy of the group without realizing it.

This will frustrate you and over-time alter your attitude, perception and mindset.

You’ll find yourself acting more and more like the group you spend the most time with. 

This means your energy has changed, and it’s not always for the best.

People Feel Too Comfortable Reaching Out

This one is tricky because it’s the people closest to you that will cross these boundaries.

I see this in situations where someone is expecting you to reply in a certain amount of time. 

Or, someone tracks you down through many channels when you aren’t available on the first one.

These situations may seem like no big deal, but they drain energy.

The best thing you can do to resolve this is to make it more difficult for the wrong people to be around you. 

This isn’t cruel to them, it’s kind to you.

You’re Attracting Attention You Don’t Want

Energy attracts like energy.

When you’re successful, you’re going to attract people like you. You will also attract people like your shadow.

Your shadow is the aspect of you that you keep hidden. It is associated with lower vibrational energies like anger, guilt, shame, and fear.

When you’re attracting low vibe people, it is your shadow that’s pulling them in.

Your attractive energy will make people flock to you. It’s important to learn whether it is the light or shadow aspect that is doing the attracting.

You can use these as cues to zero in on the areas that need your attention.

While you do the inner work, fortify yourself.

Your Life Is More Isolated & You Feel Lonely

This is true even if you’re surrounded by people.

Healthy relationships are, in part, the result of work life balance.

Successful people have a lot of responsibility. Work life balance may seem like an unrealistic expectation. To an extent, I agree.

I’m referring to balance with your energy. This is understanding how much energy you give to your life, and to work, and keeping them separate. 

That is very much possible. It’s the key to improving your inner balance and feeling like life is more harmonious.

Once your inner balance improves, you have space to let people in.

You Are More Guarded 

Intimacy and vulnerability issues are common for high achievers. 

It’s tied to how much responsibility you’re carrying, as well as how much of it feels like a burden.

Successful people usually have something people want. We could debate that they want your money, connections or advice.

I’d rather stick to what they want, which is access to your energy. 

Your energy is your currency and it’s the most valuable asset you own and control.

Without your energy healthy and vibrant, you wouldn’t be able to support the many hats you wear.

Mutual trust is the idea that you’re receiving equal energy for the energy you’re putting in. 

Equal doesn’t mean that you are both contributing the exact same thing.

If you’re a parent, for example, you’re always going to put in more energy than your kids do for you. The exchange is love.

This becomes more complicated in other types of relationships including friendships, business or intimate.

If the relationship turns transactional in any way, it’s time to do the deep healing work required.

You Question Who You Can Trust

The more successful you are, the greater the tug of war becomes between you and others. 

It becomes a game of what you can offer them and if you’re delivering enough value. It feels cold, and heartless.

You may begin questioning if people want to get somewhere through you.

Usually, this tug of war is inside of you between the mind and the heart. 

Successful people solve problems, so you’ll attract people that need problems solved. 

This could be a good thing for your business if people turn into customers. 

It could be a terrible thing for your personal relationships.

It will depend on your boundaries.

If you’re attracting opportunistic people, there’s something deeper going on. 

Could it be that you haven’t let your guard down? Have you invested in deep and meaningful relationships in your own life?

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Action needs to follow every good intention.

Trust first begins within. 

To have a high level of trust with yourself, you need to learn how to trust your intentions, your actions and your decisions. 

Beneath each of these is emotion. Once you can trust your feelings, and your heart, you’re unstoppable.

How to Learn To Trust Yourself

When you take care of how you feel, you begin the process of rebuilding trust with yourself.

This is actually the first step in learning how to trust people.

This may seem counterintuitive, but action is the opposite of what you want to do. Successful people feel compelled to do something about a problem.

What you need is the opposite. 

That’s sitting still, slowing down and letting your mind relax so a solution comes to you.

Then, you’ll understand who is around you for your heart instead of what you can do for them.

Building trust is all about listening to and meeting your needs first.

Your sense of trust will increase when you know you have your own back.

How to Trust People

The foundation for all your future relationships to thrive is dependent on how much you trust yourself.

A trusting relationship is about give and take. It’s an energy investment on both sides.

A healthy relationship is one where that energy exchange feels equal. 

You may work while your spouse takes care of the children. But, you’re both contributing value to the relationship.

Knowing your own boundaries is the first step to rebuilding trust. 

If you know your own vulnerabilities, wounds and challenges, you have a starting point.

You may have to learn some new coping skills and build healthier habits.

We are all imperfect beings and there is compassion and grace in understanding this.

It doesn’t mean you’re not dealing with a difficult problem. 

It means you are giving yourself some forgiveness and grace as you navigate life.

The first step is to begin with understanding yourself better on an emotional level.

If you have your own back, it makes opening up to others easier. 

When you own how you feel, someone’s actions outside of you won’t affect you.

You’ll realize this is a waste of your energy.

If you’re true to yourself and find good people to align with, you can build strong relationships.

It begins with honest communication with yourself and others.

You can resolve trust problems with consistent communication and effort.

When you clear the air with your past and present, you’ll experience less stress too.

Focus on good friends, the good things in your life and your mental health.

Above all, remember that you’re a human being and treat yourself with kindness.

When you have a close relationship with yourself, your other relationships will improve.

It’s easier than you think to learn how to trust people!

This post was all about how to trust people.